passing over the baton

i'm supposed to be sleeping now coz tomorrow i'm flying off, but i'm just in a very low mood now.

I feel inadequate for anyone...for everyone. I feel stupid. I feel i'm horrible...why am i so judgemental of people. I shouldn't. But why am i so easily annoyed? Past memories haunt me. I don't wanna go through that same guilt and fear again. I wanna rise above. Don't let me hate. Don't let me destroy.

I feel that i'm a horrid person. Like the bad guy in a movie.

I feel like i'm not good enough for myself, what more others?

I feel like if i see someone exactly like me, i would actually think twice before befriending that person.

I want to be understood. Yes all humans go through that stage some point of time. Yet, i can say i'm quite different. Sometimes i tell people it's good to be different. But sometimes i just wanna bland in the crowd and disappear.

God, i surrender it all back to you. I'm sorry. You are the only one that matters.