Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

i don't feel myself.
i don't know why. if i knew, then i would not feel that way.
It's cold. it's windy. the weather outside sounds brutal. that crazy howling wind. won't wanna be caught in it!
i wanna eat sweet and sour pork/fish/chicken. or charsiew. or any chinese food, with my roti canaiS.
i wanna drink teh tarik
i wanna drink milo ais (not 3 in 1 please...the one with condensed milk...mmm...)
i'm sick of bad food.
Quoting yichieh: "london has the worst food, but the best junk food"
i'd say, include the pasta i took for dinner today in that 'worst food' list.
i wanna eat bidin.
i wanna eat bak kut teh, or my mum's egg soup.
i don't wanna eat anymore hob nobs for snacks.
i will do it the british way - go on strike!

ok, none of the above make sense. the only reason is because it's 2.49 in the morning, my exam is 31 hours away, it's cold, i just finish studying cell injury, which added to all that i studied in the day makes me wanna puke. Ok, bad grammar. should have anticipated that there cannot be one single reason for such nonsensical thought.

Hmm, other musings:
1. if i'm having such bad cravings now, won't i make a horribly hard to please pregnant woman, if i do get pregnant someday?
2. If i get *touchwood* cancer, would cachexia apply to me? i don't think anything can lose my apetite for good food. Unless of course, i'm hospitalized here. That'd be BAD.
3. why do i get tired within 30 mins of a lecture, but not when i'm studying in the library?
4. what would i be studying if the microscope wasn't invented, antibodies not discovered, genes a mystery, and disease a 'fate' thing? ah, i would be unemployed then.
5. How much of these stuff that we are required to know would i retain in 5 years, 10 years, or at the end of my career, wherever that is?

MOTIVATION FOR SELF:
YOU ARE GOING BACK IN A WEEK'S TIME!
†ps: the topic title is actually Kubler-Ross stages of death. Weirdly, i'm experiencing all of it now. maybe not depression, just sadness?