the art of medicine

So... i've been on haematology-oncology-palliative care-breast disease block. most people react by saying 'Cancer?' strangely... although this block has been one of the more emotional blocks, i find it strangely interesting. I think Dr johnson was right after all, when he says it's a privilege to be with this patients - who are indeed among the strongest, bravest patients in the hospital - to break bad news to them, to be with them, to see them decide, to see them live, to help them live better, to see them die, to see their relatives. it is really a privilege i guess. to be a medical student, sometimes means that you can ask the most intrusive questions to the most vulnerable of people at the most depressing times. and yet, it's in dark times where light shines brightest. and some of these patients and their relatives - they really inspire.

was in clinic with dr johnson two days ago. and he has broken many records now. he is not only the only consultant so far that has got my name right first time round without asking, spelled my name right, remembered my name... he also made me tea. personally. not asking a nurse to do it. i mean, consultants don't make tea. at worst they give you a weird order and ask you to bring them drinks from the cafe. at best they offer you tea and ask nurses to make it. so this is quite big. really!

was in one of the haematology clinic with him and he specialises in myeloma, among other blood cancers. but myeloma, in particular has a very very bad prognosis.

after a slightly emotional encounter with a deceased patient's husband, i sheepishly asked, 'is it hard not to get too attached to patients?'

*pause*

"YES, it's hard... but attachment with patients, that is the joy of medicine isn't it? the doctor-patient relationship is so special and is what makes being a doctor so meaningful.

you know what, Charis, i write to every spouse of every patient of mine that dies. just to express my sympathy, and tell them we tried. i let them know that if they want to see me, you know, just to talk, they can arrange an appointment with my secretary, and come in. and you know what? most of them actually do accept it and do come in. and a lot of them find it helpful.

but you just have to remind yourself, it is not your fault that patient dies. it is the disease that kills the patient. you have to keep reminding yourself that, keep your feet on the ground. All my myeloma patients will die. 60% of my leukemia patients will die.

do you know dr roddie? he's my good friend. we do everything together. we fish together, we sail together, we drink beer together. and sometimes, when i need it, i go out and have beer and chat with him, and that really helps."

*lets out very long sigh and looks to a distance*

"So, our next patient is a WONDERFUL chap. He has myeloma..." and the clinic goes on.



i started my UCAS personal statement while applying for medicine, by saying "Medicine is a science as much as an art". I think i didn't know a thing about the latter part of that statement while writing it. and i'm just starting to learn that art.